For those not familiar Man Vs. Food is a television program where the host, Adam Richman, goes around the country competing in contests of amounts of food or spice of food while sampling the most exciting culinary opportunities every city has to offer. He isn't going to Bobby Flay's latest catastrophe, he will be at the local diner drinking ten milkshakes instead. Since I am a humanitarian first and a pop culture icon second, I want to take this opportunity to reach out to the host and see if we can get him to quit while he's ahead.

Dear Mr. Richman,

Let me begin by saying I am a big fan of your show Man Vs. Food on the Travel Channel. However it has become very apparent as your second season continues that you must wrap this program up soon or I will have some concerns for your physical health and the health of western civilization.

First off, as a large person I can tell you first-hand that eating delicious food without regard to your health does not work in the long run. Just trust me on this and we can move along, enough said?

Second, look at you. Have you seen a mirror lately? You are starting to look like a paler version of Aretha Franklin. I'm not saying you are getting as large as the Queen Of Soul, I'm just saying that whenever I see you on my screen I have the urge to order four fried chickens and a Coke.

My biggest worry is not about you but about what your show is doing to our society in general. We are also fat enough without having you telling us the best places to pig out in every city we could ever want to see. Because of you I can destroy my body coast to coast. Good lord have you no sense of decency?

I encourage you to do no more than three years of this show for the good of all, including you. Please remember the words your mother spoke to you as you gobbled a sandwich at Katz's Deli: But is it healthy?

Much love,
Fat Man After Dark